a5c7b9f00b Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent&#39;s son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lancehis sidekick and love interest. A top secret Agent is murdered, so his estranged son, a high school gymnast, teams up with his dad&#39;s attractive female partner to stop the psychopathic hermaphroditic gang leader who killed him, and now plans a major terrorist attack. This movie is so horrifying, stultifyingly bad that it&#39;s total lack of anything that could remotely be termed &quot;quality filmmaking&quot; deserves some sort of Nobel Prize. (After which anyone involved in this project, down to the caterers, should be bundled up and sent to The Hague to stand trial for crimes against humanity.) It&#39;s one of those very rare projects that leaves your jaw dropped in sheer aghastness from beginning to end. They say &quot;Plan 9 From Outer Space&quot; was the worst movie ever made. No. I&#39;ve seen &quot;Plan 9&quot; and this makes it look like &quot;2001: A Space Odyssey.&quot; Gymnast Lance Stargrove (a likable performance by the hunky John Stamos) joins forces with lovely, but lethal secret agent Danja Deering (a winningly vibrant portrayal by the insane foxy Vanity) in order to stop evil power-crazed hermaphrodite criminal mastermind Velvet Von Ragnar (a gloriously hammy and outrageous Gene Simmons) from poisoning the city&#39;s water supply.<br/><br/>Director Gil Bettman, working from an incredibly inane script by Steven Paul and Anton Foutz, keeps the enjoyably absurd story moving along at a brisk pace, treats the kitschy material in an engaging tongue-in-cheek manner, and stages the rousing action set pieces with gusto. Moreover, it&#39;s acted with zest by an enthusiastic cast: Stamos and Vanity make for appealing leads, Simmons has a field day with his juicy villain role, plus there are neat contributions from Peter KwongLance&#39;s nerdy inventor buddy Cliff, Robert Englundsinister computer geek Riley, George LazenbyLance&#39;s suave spy father Drew, John Andersonbusinesslike lawyer Arliss, and Ed Brockhulking flunky Pyramid. The gaudy fashions (Ragnar&#39;s minions come across like a bunch of punk rejects from a failed casting call for a low-rent &quot;Road Warrior&quot; rip-off), cheesy hair band rock soundtrack, and alarming array of ghastly big hairdos all give this picture a certain endearingly tacky 80&#39;s period charm. David Worth&#39;s slick cinematography provides a pleasing polished look. The mechanically bouncy synthesizer score by Lennie Niehaus hits the stirring spot. A total schlocky hoot.
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